On Friday I had a pretty crap day.
I got some news that was less than stellar and then I realized something I thought was great didn’t go over as well with others. On top of that, my parents were pretty unhappy with the way I handled my degree situation.
Throughout the day, I’ve been thinking about how I’ve handled sadness in the past. I think before, I would often look to external things to cure my pain. I would call a friend or family member and if they picked up it meant it was meant to be and my sadness would be solved. But today was different. Admittedly, I did call a friend. But when she didn’t pick up, I didn’t go down the list to figure out who to call next. I went home, thought about things, worked out, listened to some songs, and tried to process things.
One of my strongest initial reactions to sadness is doubting God. Any negative thing in my life is ammunition for me to use against God and reason for me to quit trusting him. Phone calls to friends are often the only assurance I can find and if they do assure me, my trust ends up misplaced in them. People are the high that often lifts me when I’m low.
But I don’t want people to be my high, as much as I love them. So today, I’ve been trying to remain present in my sadness instead of distracting myself with relationships. I’ve also been trying to process my feelings with God and les so with other people.
It’s difficult on a day like today, when the world seems to be working against you and you have no idea about what’s next. But I think it’s also supremely important to trust God on days like this. Because these are the days faith is made for.