I will write about naivete because I think it’s interesting and it’s been on my mind. But that will be another post. Before I talk about that, I want to talk about my unquenchable thirst to develop long-lasting, substantive relationships with people.
As much as I hate to say it, I really love people. I love when people are happy, I love when they’re honest, I love when they feel loved. Most of all, I love playing some role in at least one of those three things.
If I’m honest with myself, one of my main goals in life is to be everyone’s best friend. I don’t want everyone to be my best friend but I want everyone to feel like they can confide in me. Part of me feels like it’s really bad to feel that way; I feel like I shouldn’t even entertain that idea or like I’m just a crazy person. Another part of me wonders if it really is a bad idea. Like actually, what’s wrong with being everyone’s best friend?
It might be because I’m high on donuts, but right now I can only think of one reason that’s bad. I guess it’s not cool to have what feels like an unrequited best-friendship. You don’t want to feel like you’re putting your heart and soul into something and then feel like the other person isn’t doing the same. No one wants to love more than they are loved. No one wants to feel second-best. I wish I could be a good enough best friend to everyone that no one would ever feel less than awesome. That’s not really realistic though.
I think the real reason I want to be everyone’s best friend is because I hate being lonely. I know how much it sucks to be lonely, to feel like there’s no one to talk to, to feel totally unimportant and unloved, except by maybe your family. That’s such a sucky feeling. And I don’t want anyone to experience that. I want to be someone you can call up anytime and just vent to because I know how it feels to want to talk to someone and vent but not really have anyone to call.
I’ve learned to push through loneliness and ignore it (something I actually think may have contributed to my bad habit of sitting around and watching mind-numbing TV for hours on end) but I think it would have been so much cooler if, during those times of loneliness, I felt like I had someone to talk to.
I’m sorry, reader, that I often write about loneliness and friendship. In my defense, I think I have a much stronger connection to those two things than I realized when I first started writing about them, way back at the very beginning of this blog. In any case, you can rejoice, knowing that my next post will probably be about naivete (and I will try to include all the accents in the right spots).