I was talking to some cool kids last night and the topic of my recent friendships came up. It came up in many forms but I’m only going to talk about one right now though I may allude to others. Admittedly, more than one is chilling in the back of my head right now so it may pop out at any moment.
Digression: Why can’t life be easier?!?!!? I shouldn’t complain, my life isn’t that hard. My real question is, why can’t I get the things I want when I want them??? That may sound like an immature question, because it is. I just sometimes wish things would be the way I wanted them to be. But I don’t really because things are always better when they turn out the way God wants them to be. I just gotta keep remembering that. Digression over.
So I was telling…um… Ed Sheeran, about this friend I have. I sometimes enjoy being her friend, but other times I want to not be her friend. That sounds bad because it is bad. Anyway, I’m constantly wavering between whether I should slowly stop talking to her or keep working to make our friendship better. This kind of reminds me of some advice Beyonce gave me. She talked to me about investing in the future of a friendship.
I took her advice because I really wanted to invest in the future of the friendship we were talking about. It was pretty clear to me that this was a friendship I wanted to have for many more years so it would be important for me to make some hard decisions now to create and maintain a certain level of trust and respect in the future.
It’s something I think about now. How much work should I put into a relationship if I’m not even sure about the investment? Should I just automatically approach every relationship the same way and see where it goes from there or should I be more discriminating? And then, how do you know if you’ll be able to get what you want from a friendship?
The last question sounds a little selfish but that’s only because I phrased it in a selfish-sounding way. Every relationship has an expectation of a certain level of closeness/intimacy. If a relationship doesn’t reach those expected levels, what does that mean? Does that mean you should give up on the friendship? Does that mean you should try harder? How would you even go about trying harder?
Basically, what does “I love you because you’re mine” really look like in a friendship? How do you go about fostering closeness that doesn’t seem artificial? How do you know when it just can’t be done and you need to move on?
I haven’t come up with any answers to these questions but hopefully I’ll find some soon.