Best Friend

I’m listening to the person upstairs practice the guitar and it’s making me want to pick mine up and play. I haven’t played in a few days and I should really practice if I want to accomplish any of my life goals. Instead, I’ve chosen to write a blog post.

Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of my free time with JD, hanging out and philosophizing. She has some interesting ideas that I want to blog about one day but alas (otototoi!) today is not the day. Today is the day I write about best friends.

I’ve been thinking about best friends a lot recently for lots of reasons and I don’t think I reached any satisfactory conclusions about anything but I have discovered some interesting questions, which I will raise here.

1. Is “best friendship” a feeling or an action?

This is the question I struggle with the most. Is someone my best friend the moment I feel like they are or when they’ve met a set of requirements? Am I being selfish in some way by withholding the title of “best friend” from someone who basically meets all the criteria but doesn’t give me some special best friend feeling?

2. How important is a best friend?

I don’t know the answer to this question. Sometimes I think they are important, if not nominally then at least conceptually, because the term just denotes someone you feel especially close to. Sometimes I think they aren’t that important because if you just don’t feel a special reciprocal closeness to any one person that isn’t something you can change or really affect at all.

3. What does all this best friend stuff entail anyway?

Out here, JD is easily my best friend. I don’t hang out with anyone else. Plus, we have a lot of shared interests, generally get each others’ humor, and respect each others’ opinions. It works out nicely. But in a friend vacuum – this would be a place where all my friends existed together outside of the connection I have with each of them – she isn’t my best friend. And I’m not hers so I don’t feel bad about that. But why is that the case? Why can we be best friends here/now but not later? We do all the best friendy stuff (text each other on OKC dates, have deep conversations, start book clubs because why not, snapchat each other because it’s amazing, etc.) but something’s still missing. (My actual closest friends refuse to get snapchat, probably because they met me a few years ago and made the decision then to never placate me :).)

I don’t know the answer to any of these questions but a recent event does make me think about them differently. I just received a picture message (should’ve been a snapchat) from The Original Jessica, showing me that she and a friend were playing a card game I taught her 3 years ago and recently made her play again as part of a birthday countdown thing. Maybe there’s something to be said for willingly doing things that you have no reason to do nor interest in doing except for the fact that someone you cared about asked you to and then proving to them you did it again for no real reason. Maybe that’s the answer to all these questions. In any case, the text did make me smile. A lot :D.






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