I was in Florida last week but I did have some time to do some thinking. Here are some miscellaneous thoughts from last week.
I realized last night/maybe this morning that I’ve been just waiting for my life to start. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because there are some things that I know I won’t be able to get for a little while, but that shouldn’t be reason enough for me to put the rest of my life on hold.
You can’t repeat the past
I was watching the great Gatsby when Nick said that line to Gatsby. I vaguely remember the scene from the book. Gatsby’s response is one I think I’ve told myself for a while. “But you can.” But you can’t. I know that to be true now. I’d add one thing to that saying though. You can’t live in the past either. It makes it hard to deal with the future.
Wise Words from Giselle: Something Worth Fighting For
I was talking to the little kid last night about school and stuff. She can’t wait to go back after completing her first year and I sometimes miss it now that I’ve finished my last year. She was telling me about the friends she’s made there, especially her one really good friend, Andrew. She told me that she never did this before but sometimes – not often by any means, maybe once or twice – she fights with him. She was telling me about how she’s never fought with a friend before but that was really because there was nothing worth fighting for.
I think baby G is right. I’ve found that if I don’t care deeply about a relationship with someone or if we’re just not that close, I don’t fight with the person. It’s for different reasons. For instance, my roommate and I used to pretend fight all the time and we actually argued during the year a few times but when I think of the arguments or the play fights they all happened because we knew each other well enough to know how to push each other’s buttons. That may sound silly or perhaps mean but it’s true. We’re good enough friends that we know what upsets each other and we care deeply enough about each other that what we say to each other can actually hurt. There are some things that Ravonne could say that would offend me but if someone else said it, it wouldn’t be a big deal. It’s not because I dislike Ravonne more than everyone else, it’s the exact opposite. She’s one of the few people whose words have such an effect on me that I would actually be offended by them.