The Hunt

I’m at this interesting time in my life as a college student where I have to figure out what I’m going to do in a few months. This is especially difficult for me because – well, it’s time I come clean – there is no one thing I want to do.

It’s hard to admit that as a college student, let alone a Princeton student. In my ideal world/life, I would just hang out with people I love all the time, read some books, come up with ways to fix some of the world’s biggest problems, watch football/own football, read some Latin and Greek, make lists and organize things (I have this weird thing where I really like charting and analyzing things although that doesn’t really translate to me being an organized person), study the Bible and theological concepts, philosophize about life’s most underrated questions, and write some type of creative fictional work.

I like doing all of those things and I can honestly say that I can’t think of one that I like more than the other. Depending on the day and time, I may want to do one more than the other – right now I’d much rather write than read Latin – but that can change at any given point.

I wonder, is this a product of our generation or is it something else? Sometimes it just feels like a general sense of unsettled-ness. Like, maybe when I’m older I’ll come to discover I really MUST do one of those things and my life would be fine if I didn’t do the others. But right now it feels like I LIKE doing all those things and my life would be a little less fun if I had to stop one.

Unfortunately, there’s no job title like that. It’s why recently, I’ve been telling myself and others that I want to be a renaissance woman or maybe a “Jill-of-all-trades”. There are a lot of things I want to do and I don’t like having to pick one. That may sound really immature but I don’t know what to do about that. There is no career I want to have. There’s no professional job I MUST do. So I don’t really know where that leaves me in terms of job applications. I don’t know where that leaves me in terms of life.

Truth bomb: I never really saw myself getting this far in life anyway. Who could ever conceive of their own college graduation??? And here’s some more honesty: I don’t know if I ever want to settle. I don’t want to not do any of the things I listed earlier. And I don’t want to be stuck doing only one of those things either.

This is one of those things that’s going to take a whole bunch of prayer and even more trust. I’ll keep you posted.

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