I’m tired. It’s been shown that excessive tiredness mirrors drunkenness in some ways (usually the falling-over-and-mumbling-incoherent-babble ways). Please excuse the possible incoherence of this post since I’ve already had to backspace like 100 times just to get these three sentences on the screen. I’m also sneezing right now. So that’s fun.
I’m confused. Sometimes I’m talking to people and I’m just like, why? How did this happen? You know when you have friends from a long time ago whom you’re still friends with because it’s just easier than not being friends (aren’t you proud that i used whome instead of who)? I don’t always like that. I like having full control over the people I hang out with. But some old friends are fun to be around sometimes but other times they just don’t get me. Maybe I just expect too much from them. I mean, these aren’t the friends I’m closest to. I guess.
But shouldn’t they be? After knowing them for years, shouldn’t they know what I do or don’t like or how I interact with people or my hang ups or stuff? This sounds like the Danielle show. (Sometimes I think it would be cool if I had my own TV show. i don’t know if it actually would be though.) I guess it’s just, i don’t know, I just figured people would be better. They aren’t bad, they just…idk. I’m tired.
But then, there’s also this thing where everyone has to be friends with everyone else because that’s the Christian thing to do. i hate that. (I’m correcting less and less as I type, my apologies.) It forces me to maintain relationships with people with whom I otherwise have nothing in common. That’s so ridiculous, right? I think so. I don’t want to go to every event or invite someone to something or do stuff with people all the time because we’re all Christian so i’m supposed to. Sometimes I’m eating lunch with one person because that’s the only person I want to eat lunch with. Sometimes I’m sitting in my room alone because I don’t want to go out and mingle or whatever. Does that make me a misanthrope? Am i a bad person because of that? I don’t know, maaybe I am.
i just like stuff now. i don’t like having to do all the stuff. I know I can be selfish for sure. i know that. Maybe this whole post is just a tired, selfish rant. That’s possible. i don’t know. if it is though, ther e si thta saying, in vino veritas: truth in wine. And sleepiness is a lo liek drunkeness. I’m so sorry. I just stopped editing in this last paragraph. I’ts njust not worth it. Godd night.