The Family We Choose vs. The Family Chosen For Us

There’s a saying that says “you can’t always count on your friends, but you can always count on your family” or something like that. That’s a pretty not true quote (I’m sure everyone can think of some instances where we couldn’t count on family) but I think there is a truth hidden in it. Sometimes our closest friends are our family. Hence though the title of this post may be misleading, I’m talking about friendship.

Most people think of their close friends as the family they choose (if you’re the type of person who thinks of friends as family; I certainly am). So for most, the first part of this title is clear. Still, if friends are the family we choose, who are the family chosen for us? I think that friends actually fit into both categories in different ways.

I’m a big believer in providence; maybe some would call it fate or destiny. I believe that things happen for a reason. So when I think of my friends, especially my closest ones, I can’t help but think that regardless of how much I’d love to pat myself on the back for being such a great judge of character, I chose these people as much as I chose which family I’d be born into. I didn’t choose my closest friends, God did…

…in a manner of speaking. I guess this could run into the bigger topic of how much God interferes (don’t like that word but couldn’t think of a less violent sounding one) in our lives. I don’t want to talk about that right now though. I don’t know the answer to that question. All I want to say is that the people I’ve really spent and shared my life with aren’t people I would have picked from a line up of “potential best friends”. They’re people who at first seemed so different from me – or too similar – but later proved to be just what I needed in some amazing way.

I write about friendship so much, you’d think I would have exhausted any words or thoughts on this topic. I’m just learning so many new things about it every day, I can’t help but talk about it. I think it’s one of the most beautiful relationships that God allows us to participate in and I’m still trying to figure it out. It’s amazing 🙂


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