I confess: I’m not very good at blogging. I have neither the desire nor the ability to update about my life in any capacity. It’s not because of my pride (though that has proven especially problematic for me the past few weeks) but more because of my laziness. Blogging isn’t beneath me… maybe I’m just beneath it?
In any case, I understand the importance of saying things (or at least typing them) and I especially realize that this summer will be hard for me since I won’t really have anyone to say these things to. That’s actually been great so far though, because over the past few days I’ve had to rely on God so so much and it’s been really fulfilling. It’s always sad to me that it takes so much for me to turn to God. Sometimes I won’t pray to Him unless I’m experiencing extreme discomfort. Still, I’m glad that I can talk to Him even when I am being a spoiled brat and waiting until the last minute. He’s that good.
Ok, now for the catalyst for this update: I’m cleaning my room today (Rnevs and JNH would be so proud! So would my whole family actually…) and listening to some worship music (so good!) and I stumbled upon a tiny notepad in one of my drawers. It’s hard for me to type this next part because I’m cracking up on the floor but I’ll try. The notepad is from my early teen years when I thought I could be a successful female rapper, lolz. It’s actually ridiculous! Some of the “songs/lyrics” I wrote are horrible, the others are just attempts at being poetic while the last bit is actually OK. In any case, I think finding this notepad is a sign from God that I need to go back to my roots and start writing hip-hop songs again.
Obviously that’s how I should interpret this.